unwanted but wanted

as the rain drips, I contemplated on how he licked his lips. how he swayed while he walked, how he talked that damn talk. how irresistible his presence of mannerism was blew my mind on so many levels. I caught myself high off of his body not even his mind nor soul. I was stuck in this trance desired by my sexual thoughts, the way he snuck his carisma into his success of a smile; I knew he could sneak a lot of interesting things inside of me. his eyes were driving me insane; oh GOD & the way he bit his lip was desirable. I had never been bound or the type to be completely stuck on a man, I liked to be chased; but at this point my thoughts & my eyes were completely stalking him. & for that one second I had just thought of so many deceiving; despicable thoughts that I should be ashamed of myself. but as badly as I wanted this man I gladly turned him down once he approached me, I just wasn't interested anymore & the galore was over. you ever wanted something so bad that once you got it you didn't want it anymore? yeah well I'd like to dedicate this poem to the wanted but unwanted